When you’ve ever attended a Nigerian marriage ceremony, you already know one factor for positive: irrespective of how completely deliberate, there’ll at all times be drama. Weddings right here will not be nearly vows and cake; they’re films with a number of seasons. The primary characters? The bride and groom. The supporting solid? Everybody else — aunties, uncles, DJs, MCs, even the caterer.
From gele that blocks individuals’s view to rice wars that just about finish friendships, listed here are 10 bizarre, humorous, and typically chaotic issues that by some means sneak into each Nigerian marriage ceremony.
1. The Gele Wars
Asoebi is meant to unite, however belief Nigerian aunties, it turns into a contest. One aunty will arrive with a gele so excessive you’ll suppose she’s attempting to succeed in heaven. One other will fold her gele so broad, it appears like wings. Earlier than lengthy, individuals sitting behind them can’t even see the couple. And if two girls present up in the identical gele model? Simply seize your popcorn, as a result of silent side-eyes and faux smiles will fly all via the day.
2. The Spray Combat
Spraying cash is custom, however Nigerians turned it right into a sport. Groom’s guys include bundles, folding cash like they’re in a music video. Bride’s women? They could not have bundles, however their power is unmatched — they’ll be dancing and spraying N200 notes prefer it’s confetti. Then, after all, there’s at all times that one individual pretending to “assist collect the cash,” however you discover their pocket is suspiciously fatter by the top of the evening.
3. DJ Drama
Each marriage ceremony has that one second when the DJ messes up. The couple is prepared for his or her romantic first dance, ready for a candy love tune… then all of a sudden, “Gobe by Davido” or “Oblee” drops. The bride appears like she desires to faint, the groom is confused, however the crowd? They’re already laughing and shouting, “DJ, respect your self!”
4. Meals Politics
This one is the true battle of weddings. Wedding ceremony meals isn’t sufficient to go spherical — I don’t know why, however it’s the regulation. One desk is consuming fried rice, hen, salad, and suya; in the meantime, one other desk remains to be empty plates. Then you definately begin listening to: “Excuse me, Desk 7 hasn’t been served!” However guess what? The caterer’s kinfolk already carried coolers to their vehicles. That’s when individuals begin whispering, “The meals completed too rapidly — are they positive this marriage will final?”
5. The MC Who Does Too A lot
Some MCs maintain the vibe alive, and a few MCs suppose they’re auditioning for Netflix comedy specials. Some will begin cracking dry jokes concerning the bride’s ex or the groom’s bald head, and everybody will simply look away in pity. The worst ones? People who pressure {couples} to do embarrassing video games like “Carry your bride in your again!” In the meantime, the bride is sporting a robe heavier than cement.
Learn Extra: The whole lot You Ought to Know About “Owambe” Events in Nigeria
6. Bouquet Wahala
The second the bride throws her bouquet, peace leaves the constructing. Single women all of a sudden flip into WWE fighters. Heels are flying, wigs are shifting, nails are breaking — all for flowers. And when somebody lastly catches it, she’ll smile like she simply gained the World Cup. However fast-forward three years, and she or he’s nonetheless single, bouquet lengthy forgotten in a single random drawer.
7. The Photobomber Uncle
Each marriage ceremony album has that one uncle who seems in all the images. He’ll stand behind the cake, beside the couple, even sneak onto the dance ground photographs together with his large abdomen and darkish shades. Later, when the couple will get their photos, half of them appear like his marriage ceremony photograph album.
8. Energy Outage Wahala
Ah, NEPA! Simply when it’s time for the couple to chop the cake, gbam — lights out. The entire corridor goes darkish, children begin screaming, and you then hear the gang shouting “UP NEPA!” when the sunshine lastly comes again, as if it’s a part of this system. Some company even clap like NEPA simply did charity.
9. Dance Battle Insanity
There’s at all times that one cousin, contemporary from college, who sees the dance ground as an opportunity to shine. As soon as the DJ performs Asake or Rema, they’ll soar in with legwork so aggressive it appears like they’re combating invisible enemies. Then an uncle will be a part of, attempting to show he’s nonetheless younger, and all of a sudden we’re watching a dance battle that wasn’t on this system. The group? Already recording for TikTok.
10. The Takeaway Hustle
On the finish of the celebration, it’s survival of the fittest. Nylon baggage, cooler baggage, and even empty ice cream buckets all of a sudden seem. Aunties begin packaging meat like they’re stocking a freezer. And when you look carefully, some individuals will accumulate takeaway packs “for his or her youngsters” — in the meantime, their youngsters are grown and married. The caterer’s blood stress might be excessive, however the company? They’re leaving with victory smiles.
Remaining Take
A Nigerian marriage ceremony with out these chaotic moments? Inconceivable. They’re what make the day unforgettable. The couple might overlook who embellished the corridor, however they’ll always remember the aunty who fought over bouquet, or the DJ that performed Zazu throughout their first dance. And that’s the great thing about it — Nigerian weddings are messy, humorous, dramatic, however at all times legendary.
Loved this gist? There’s loads extra the place that got here from. For extra marriage ceremony drama, model inspo, and Owambe gist, comply with us on Instagram @glamcityzweddings — your front-row seat to probably the most glamorous “I do” moments.
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